The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize