very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
