tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
