I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
