i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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