Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
