I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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