All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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