so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she looked like the before picture.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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