We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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