I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
