he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
