I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
