so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
