Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
false alarm, still single
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
