Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
