We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She said her name was "party"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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