i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
