Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
