I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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