so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
