If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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