omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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