I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's official drugs can't kill me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
