hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
