Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
