my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
