shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
