I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
