If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize