i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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