woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize