i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
