I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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