if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
