I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
