Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
