In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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