She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
