is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize