he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
