Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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