will power is for people who don't want to get laid
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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