the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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