ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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