Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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