I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
