I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Randomize
