God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
