I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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