I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
