I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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