ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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