So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
