it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
