community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize