those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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