alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
