I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I checked into jail on foursquare
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
