Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize