Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
