3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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