You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
wow bdsm is so cute
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
