considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
