i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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