Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
