3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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