dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
