It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
