two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
